16 Comments
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Troy Putney's avatar

So much self-discovery, so beautifully told. As someone who abhors zoos and marine parks, the conclusion gave me so much joy. We all long to be free.

Bertus's avatar

What a clever and endearing way to unfold this, to pull me in. To bridge half a century with a few stepping stones, removing the layers and bringing it right up close....really enjoyed it!

Jon T's avatar

Subtle and sublime. Such a good framework to write this story.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

This is such a beautiful story Amanda. I remember seeing the prompt when it came in. I couldn't imagine how one my turn it into a story about transformation because it was so spare and there was no dramatic event. It was quiet and subtle. You managed to keep that pensive, reflective tone that I'm sure whoever wrote it will appreciate while also giving the narrator a struggle and depth that is critical to make the story come to life. Bravo!

Amanda Carranza's avatar

*phew* THANK YOU for that - I loved the quietness and reflection of the prompt so much, but that was also a big factor in why I had to rewrite it so many times and was doing so right up until the deadline. I hope whoever submitted the prompt for this story feels that I did the essence of it justice - my biggest worry was (and still is) taking too much liberty. But I just kept asking myself “why would a child want to spend so much time at a zoo instead of going home after school?” and I just followed those crumbs.

driftonthis's avatar

"felt so natural, full, and vibrant"...yes it did, all of it truly did

Amanda Carranza's avatar

Thank you kindly ❤️

Hannah Holm's avatar

Lovely, just lovely 💚

Julie Gabrielli's avatar

What a beautiful portrait of yearning and empathy. The turn at the end where she suddenly understands the animals are in captivity is so powerful. I gasped. I love that she had mentors who saw her talent and encouraged her.

Amanda Carranza's avatar

Thank you so much! That juxtaposition of the freedom she was finding compared to the animals’ captivity was the most intriguing part of the prompt too, when I received it. I was hoping I could communicate that effectively.

Mark Connolly's avatar

I very much liked the juxtaposition of the diary, mind diary, and diary to my younger self. I think it is an effective way of getting inside a character. I've not seen that before. Smart.

Amanda Carranza's avatar

Thank you! It took about 5 iterations for me to get to that point and several rewrites but I’m pretty happy that I landed there!

Constance Ford's avatar

So beautifully written! You really brought me into the mind and experience of that girl in 1976.

Amanda Carranza's avatar

Thank you so much!

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Dec 29, 2023
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